There are two types of people in this world. Those who love talking over the phone and the other, who will do anything to avoid them. If you are a part of the latter category (for reasons ranging from ; a preference for face-to-face interactions, the need to look at the other person’s expressions while you talk, innate introversion, inability to articulate your thoughts while on the phone, a strong liking and sense of ease with texting or just plain dislike for any form of social contact) read on !
1. THE PREPARATION RITUAL
Do you feel the need to mentally prepare yourself to pick up that phone and dial a number ? *We feel you* To overcome this dread, we often try and think of the things we want to say in our heads. Perfect our lines, so to speak. The more we hesitate, the harder it gets.
Don’t even get us started on the fearful anticipation that comes along with our ringtone. The wild frenzy of trying to think of the reason someone is calling you accompanied with the last minute dash to come up with your response is nerve-wracking to say the least. Our ringtones might as well be “The Rains of Castemere” *Shudder* Life would be so much simpler if along with Caller ID we got to see the exact reason someone was calling us for. Alice *wants to gossip*, Eric *will beg for money*, Sam *wants to invite you to a party* 🙂 We could screen calls that we want to take and just ignore the rest.
2. THE WHAT’S NEW CONUNDRUM
The most common question we’re asked – What’s up ? What’s new ? A question that begs us to analyze our life and rack our brains for an answer that’s suitable. #NothingMuch doesn’t count !
3. THE AWKWARD SILENCE SYNDROME
So we’ve braced ourselves and made the dreaded call, successfully manoeuvred the conversation due to our meticulous preparation BUT alas ! When faced with *Awkward Silence* our grey cells just refuse to function.
4. THE CONFERENCE CALL VORTEX
What’s worse than being on the phone with one person ? Being on a conference call ! Keeping track of who’s saying what, trying to avoid a situation where several people respond at the same time, finding the right time to have your say, making sure you’re not just a mute listener – phew ! Conference calls sure are hard work.
5. THE BIRTHDAY / ANNIVERSARY PERPLEXITY
So you’ve wished the person on the other end a very happy birthday / anniversary and politely enquired about their plans for the day. What next ? How do you ensure that the conversation doesn’t inevitably end in a awkward pause ? Tell us if you find a way. Does practising on a banana phone help ?
6. THE ROMANCE RAMIFICATION
You love your significant other. Very much. But you can’t seem to spend hours happily chatting on the phone like other couples do. How do you convince him / her that it isn’t because your love for them is any less ? How do you make them understand that need to avoid phone calls is just who you are ?