You know who you are. Our paths cross from time to time. You were there when I was in high school. Yes you ! You visit me at work sometimes. And you ! You tried to sneak up on my partner and I. Whenever I look into your eyes, my first instinct is to run. Away from you. Fast. If you haven’t already figured out what I’m circuitously trying to say, I’ll spell it out for you. Clearly. I don’t like you.
I know my foolish ( futile ? ) attempts at escapism impress you little. I am aware that my grumbling and whining falls on deaf ears. You like to be acknowledged. ignoring you makes you more determined than ever.
I try so hard to stay away from you. Make plans and take precautions but you invariably turn up. Sometimes you turn me into a confused mess. I can’t say I like the feeling. I second guess my actions, over-analyze and worry. Incessantly. Sometimes you keep me up at night. Other times though, sleep decides to help me out a little. It provides me a perspective, a different angle or an epiphany – a weapon that will help me tackle you.
Last year you came to my home and wouldn’t leave. You stuck to me like a leech. Lucky for me my friends swooped in to lend a helping hand. Together we drove you out but not before you put a dent on my confidence. Not to mention the emotional pain you left in your wake.
I remember how over the years I’ve tried to circumvent you, scare you, bribe you and even accept you. You don’t get scared easily but there have been occasions when I’ve succeeded. You crave confrontation don’t you ? Only when I take a deep breath and face you head-on with well thought-out solution do you admit defeat. You make me list out all possible alternatives, play out each in my mind and eventually choose the best given the circumstances.
Sometimes I fail. Sometimes you hurt me and I’m unable to stop you. Having said that, there were instances where unbeknownst to me you made me stronger. Wiser. Still, I’d rather not have you in my life. Not this frequently anyway. I know disrupting my life gives you much pleasure but could you please find something better to do with your time. And stop stalking me ?