WHEN WORK DOESN’T WORK

When

The other day, I was talking to a friend. She is building her own company from scratch and things aren’t looking too good. She is toiling away day and night to fix issues as and when they crop up. She has the support of a few trusted colleagues. Together, they are trying to turn their dreams into reality. As time passes by, things look even more bleak. They dodn’t know what they are doing wrong, they’ve tried everything (Yes ! Everything they possibly could).

My first instinct is to motivate my friend by saying something positive. Something along these lines :

Making mistakes means that you’re trying” &

If you don’t give up on getting there then you are not on the wrong road.”

But I don’t. It sounds cliched to my own ears and I am pretty sure she’s heard it all before. Many people must have tried to “help” her before me by saying :

Don’t give up” ,

Try, try and try again until you succeed

Rome wasn’t built in a day” or

Success is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration.”

She must have been given countless pep talks, read all the positive quotes there are and then some. She is passionate, inspired and very meticulous with her plans. She sets time-bound goals and makes sure she achieves them. She doesn’t need anybody
to tell her to work harder, she already is ! The problem is that it isn’t working !

Haven’t we all been in a situation where no matter how hard we tried, no matter how much we sacrificed or how much energy we spent to achieve something, we still didn’t ?

We gave it our best, but apparently our best wasn’t good enough !
Does the fact that we didn’t triumph necessarily mean that we were half-hearted ? Does it point to the fact that we could have done something “more”?

Is it possible that the real reason was an external factor
beyond our control or sheer luck ? This makes me wonder, are there times WHEN WORK SIMPLY DOES NOT WORK ?

Times when the amount of our efforts are irrelevant ?
Times when the situation is not in our control ?

Times when our success is dependent on a host of factors, often not in our hands ?

Perhaps there are. Maybe when someone fails, we shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that their efforts were lacking. Maybe we should try to understand their situation first and then decide whether our “help” is actually helpful ! We should be open-minded about there being unforseeable circumstances or hurdles that simply cannot be overcome.

Perhaps there are also instances where failure is not so bad. Maybe failure is a harsh word that seeks to diminish our efforts. Maybe it isn’t failure at all ! Maybe when our carefully laid-out plans fall through despite our best efforts, we should stop blaming ourselves. Maybe we should grow and learn from the experience and walk along one step at a time – always moving forward. After all, don’t they always say :

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

 

HAPPY ENDING

 Photo Credit: Alex Bellink via Compfight cc Dreams, surreal scenarios, fantasy My escape from this suffocating reality, Just shutting down for a little while Adding chapters to my mind’s file.   Easy and happy, my reveries are ideal For a … Continue reading

IS HONESTY THE BEST POLICY ?

The scene is of a dining room. The hostess has painstakingly prepared an experimental dish which she serves to her guests. The guests comprise of a lady and her children. The guests eagerly taste her creation.

Hostess : “So, what do you think ?”

Lady : “Umm..It’s not quite working for me actually.”

The children look on wide-eyed at their dialogue and say nothing.

Later that day, on returning home.

Child 1 : “Why did you tell her that you didn’t like her dish straight to her face?”

Lady : “Because that’s how I really felt about it.”

Child 1 : “Wasn’t that impolite ? You probably hurt her feelings.”

Child 2 : “Wouldn’t it have been better if you’d appreciated the dish and her efforts even if that meant lying ?”

This scene brings certain questions to the fore.

Was the Lady really wrong in expressing her frank opinion ? Is it alright to lie just to spare someone’s feelings ? Would the Hostess be better off with false praise ? Will honest criticism help her refine the dish or dampen her confidence in the long run ?

I’m the kind of person who is brutally honest about my feelings and opinions. I strive to sincerely express what I think about others and I actually like it this way. But every now and then I’m chided by for being too blunt. The following conversation is one I’ve had numerous times.

“You shouldn’t have said that”

Me : “Why ?”

“You just shouldn’t have !”

The general complaint for my affliction of truthfulness is that it upsets people and often comes across as rude. But wouldn’t they like to know what I really think ? Wouldn’t they benefit from constructive criticism? Wouldn’t they like to know where they’re going wrong ? Has being fake become the way of life now, the acceptable thing to do?

honesty 2
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I have seen people who candidly confess their feelings (both positive and negative) regarding a certain someone to EVERYONE ELSE except the person concerned. Sometimes they behave in a completely different way in front of them and flip one-eighty when they’re not around. Shouldn’t these feelings be discussed with the person concerned ? Won’t being deceitful will hamper relationships in the long run ?

What if I was the person concerned and people talked about me behind my back ?

I would like to know how a person really feels about me. I personally, would like everybody to tell me the ugly truth rather than raise my expectations by innovating pretty lies. It’s better in the long run. I wouldn’t want to live a life that was an illusion, confined in a little bubble of lies. I want to be at peace with the supreme reality. It’s funny how everyone wants to know the truth, but nobody’s willing to say it.

Whenever I’ve lied in the past, it’s been like a burden placed upon my head. Being transparent gives me satisfaction as I’m not deceiving anyone, not even myself. But, the downside to being transparent though, is that sometimes you’re too straightforward with people in the first meeting itself, raised eyebrows and shocked expressions are guaranteed. Having said that, I would like to add – being frank does not imply giving a free reign to malice and constructing words for the sole purpose of wounding someone’s feelings.

We’ve always heard how “Honesty is the best policy” during our formative years. Kids are extremely open about their opinions. They say that : When a man says something cruel to you he’s being mean. When a woman says something negative about you she’s just jealous BUT when a kid says something, it’s most definitely true.

So why not make it a Moral Code- To say what is true !

Agree or Disagree (Its completely your call) ? Be honest and tell me what you think ! 😉