DEVIANT DEFINITIONS : New words for the Dictionary

I . FASHAIN

Fashain

Fashion + Pain = Fashain

When fashion becomes painful. Yes high heels, we’re looking at you. You look sexy but hurt so bad. And you, luxury handbag. You burn a hole in our pocket, it is very difficult to shell out all that cash. Anything and everything we do in the name of fashion that causes us pain. We might do it to fit in, follow trends or because we’re conditioned to believe that if we don’t do these things we won’t be loved or considered beautiful and popular. That there’s something wrong with us that needs to be fixed.

 

II. AUNTERFERE

Aunterfere
Aunty + Interfere = Aunterfere

When a “well-meaning” aunty – a neighbour or a distant relative maybe, pokes her nose in our business. She wants to know what we are doing, who we’re hanging out with, when we’re getting married, when we’ll have children, why we came home later than usual yesterday, who’s texting us right now and how much money we are making. She might be a busybody, may have run out of fresh gossip and wants to replenish her stock or have too much time on her hands ; hence the interest in our private life. She believes it is perfectly justified to question our personal decisions and even try to influence them.

 

III. AMFUSED

Amfused
Amused + Confused = Amfused

When we can’t describe what we’re feeling. Its a mixture of amusement and confusion. Anything can evoke this feeling – a new dress, something our friend mentioned, an age old custom some people follow, architectural design or even food at a restaurant.

 

IV. FEAXCITED

Feaxcited
Fearful + Excited = Feaxcited

When we feel scared but also excited. The first day of school, moving to a new city, going on a blind date, getting married, leaving your childhood home for one of your own or quitting your current job to follow your passion. The unknown variables make us nervous but the possibilities and opportunities that promise us a different but better tomorrow have us skipping with joy.

THE 5 STAGES OF PROCRASTINATION

Procrastination. Don’t we all love it ? Whether its starting our new fitness regime, cleaning up our room, a task we’ve been assigned or something we’ve volunteered to do. We start off by making enthusiastic promises to ourselves and others how we’ll read that … Continue reading

WHEN WORK DOESN’T WORK

When

The other day, I was talking to a friend. She is building her own company from scratch and things aren’t looking too good. She is toiling away day and night to fix issues as and when they crop up. She has the support of a few trusted colleagues. Together, they are trying to turn their dreams into reality. As time passes by, things look even more bleak. They dodn’t know what they are doing wrong, they’ve tried everything (Yes ! Everything they possibly could).

My first instinct is to motivate my friend by saying something positive. Something along these lines :

Making mistakes means that you’re trying” &

If you don’t give up on getting there then you are not on the wrong road.”

But I don’t. It sounds cliched to my own ears and I am pretty sure she’s heard it all before. Many people must have tried to “help” her before me by saying :

Don’t give up” ,

Try, try and try again until you succeed

Rome wasn’t built in a day” or

Success is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration.”

She must have been given countless pep talks, read all the positive quotes there are and then some. She is passionate, inspired and very meticulous with her plans. She sets time-bound goals and makes sure she achieves them. She doesn’t need anybody
to tell her to work harder, she already is ! The problem is that it isn’t working !

Haven’t we all been in a situation where no matter how hard we tried, no matter how much we sacrificed or how much energy we spent to achieve something, we still didn’t ?

We gave it our best, but apparently our best wasn’t good enough !
Does the fact that we didn’t triumph necessarily mean that we were half-hearted ? Does it point to the fact that we could have done something “more”?

Is it possible that the real reason was an external factor
beyond our control or sheer luck ? This makes me wonder, are there times WHEN WORK SIMPLY DOES NOT WORK ?

Times when the amount of our efforts are irrelevant ?
Times when the situation is not in our control ?

Times when our success is dependent on a host of factors, often not in our hands ?

Perhaps there are. Maybe when someone fails, we shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that their efforts were lacking. Maybe we should try to understand their situation first and then decide whether our “help” is actually helpful ! We should be open-minded about there being unforseeable circumstances or hurdles that simply cannot be overcome.

Perhaps there are also instances where failure is not so bad. Maybe failure is a harsh word that seeks to diminish our efforts. Maybe it isn’t failure at all ! Maybe when our carefully laid-out plans fall through despite our best efforts, we should stop blaming ourselves. Maybe we should grow and learn from the experience and walk along one step at a time – always moving forward. After all, don’t they always say :

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.